One Thousand and One Scenes
Do you want to know how to construct a scene? New to BDSM? Are you a Top/Switch that wants to know how to create a scene? Are you a bottom that wants to know what to expect from it?
“Scene” is a term in the Kinky world that defines an interaction involving BDSM dynamics. A scene can be planned with days in advance and lined out with specifics or negotiated on the spot. Or anything in between. But never on the go as you play.
The more put together you have your scene, the more safety and fun Top(s)/bottom(s) will have. Building and running a scene can be as easy or as difficult as the parties involved want it to be. You can try as much as you want and you can have it last for as long as you desiree. However, there is a certain procedure for better results. When building a scene, there are three steps to consider: The Planning, The Execution and The Feedback.
The Planning: This is the moment where the parties get together and talk about what they want to do. This includes descriptions of wardrobe, expectations, toys, limits, medical conditions, types of play, triggers, boundaries… It is a big conversation otherwise called negotiation. It is very important to be as detailed as possible about expectations, toys, limits and boundaries when playing with someone for the first couple of times. Once the Top(s) gather this information, they proceed to create the scene beforehand playing with the bottom(s). Things to consider for the Top(s) are: Knowing the reason behind the scene, Gather the tools needed and Plan the activities.
Knowing the reasons behind the scene - Maybe you just want to explore if you connect with each other. Maybe you are trying to test your limits. Or maybe you are helping them sub(s) to overcome a fear or an insecurity. But every single scene has a reason why it is being created. How deep the reason is directly proportionated to the complexity of the scene. It is up to you as a Top(s) to determine what the goal to achieve is.
Gather the tools needed - The right tools for the right job. It can be specific wardrobe needed for the scene. It can be a particular toy you need to get. Or it can be a run to a home improvement store for some rigging components. Either way, you have to make sure you do a run down of all items that you will need for that day and have them in advance. You must also make sure you test them and get a hold of them way beforehand.
Plan the activities - You can be as detailed as a movie script. Or maybe just a mental outline of your scene. But you must have an idea of what you are doing and where you are heading. The most common error with new people is running out of ideas or not knowing what to do after using one toy. This step will prevent you from that and will provide you with a guideline of how your scene can potentially be played. Note: Nothing ever goes as planned. That is why you are always open to change and with a reachable first aid kit.
The Execution: This is the moment you have been waiting for. Time to play! Like any good storyline, the scene is divided in Three Acts: Set-up, Confrontation and Resolution.
The Feedback: This is the final step of the scene which provides information from all parties involved. It starts with a follow-up one or two days after the scene. This follow-up is also a good moment to provide feedback on all sides. At this moment, the Top(s) will have made their observations and results from the previous experience. And the feedback encloses the full experience for the growth of all parties involved. Wether you play again with that person or not, this feedback is an empowering moment for you as a Top(s), bottom(s) or Switch(s).